Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The worst


Traditionally, at the end of a year it's time to look back. 
This wouldn't be Life Is Royalty if I wouldn't look back on the royals (coming), but you all know how much I like to comment on celebrities clothes too. 

In today's post I present to you: 

2011. THE WORST

(now if you're really clever you can already guess what the next post will be)

1. Lady Gaga still is popular
2. Prince Harry didn't ask me to marry him
3. Justin Bieber didn't stop making music
4. Robert Pattinson still is the hottest dude on the planet (WTF WHY WHY WHY)
5. Jennifer Aniston still isn't married and has no kids
6. People had more attention for the behind of the Royal Sister than the actual royals
7. Jersey Shore will have a new season
8. Kim Kardashian Kan't Keep a Kompanion 
9. Blake Lively and Leo broke up
10. Paris Hilton still gets attention


ah and of course there was also the global economical crisis (bye bye euro in 2012?), Fukushima, still no peace in the Middle East, the Japanese still are fishing for whales, ...

(I admit that my list is probably the most superficial you can find on the internet. Applaus for me!!)


But now. 
Over to the really important part of this post. 
clothes. 

Here some of the worst outfits of 2011. I want to see the look on their faces when they are looking at these pictures in 2030 (when we will have forgotten about  them a long time ago) and wonder: 

"Tiens, if I  hadn't worn that in 2011, would I still be famous?"


1. THE YES WE KNOW YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF ART

 Of course my list has to start with she. Maybe she will discover in 2011 that she will look so much better in a little more normal clothes, and I'm sure she wouldn't lose any fans over it. Please woman! There are children on the streets who can see this! They will have nightmares for the rest of their lives... 

I wish for her: a jeans, a t-shirt and flats. 




2. THE PREGNANT ONE (1)

Of course, congrats. I get that you want to show your babybelly to the world. 
But please, my dear. Don't do it in this colour, in this tissue, and in this size. You look like a pregnant hooker (and no, that's not a good thing). 

I wish for her: of course a healthy baby. But also a new movie!! (where was she in 2011?)



3. THE CRAZY JUMPSUIT

I don't want to imagine who designed this. And even as a podium outfit this is trop, too much. It makes me vomit inside  my mouth a little and it gives me a headache.

I wish for her: a new album that beats the old one



4. THE PREGNANT ONE (2)

I know that if you're pregnant your brain works differently. This might explain why she decided to match the coat (hidious leopard) to the dress (hidious pink tablecloth). I'll forgive you, but just make it better in 2011. 

I wish for her: a healthy baby, of course. And also success with everything she's doing (that's about everything but music I heard)



5. THE BOOBS AND LEGS

This is not how we know you! You look like a burlesque dancer with too much fringes. I personally think the few bad outfits lately have directly to do with the breakup from Leo (Ryan doesn't even come close). 

I wish for her: a role in a descent movie. Coming back together with Leo. But most importantly: many, many, many more fabulous outfits


6. THE GLEE WOMAN

I never watched Glee (bah).  I watched the Smurfs (boooring). I watched this photo (bweuk). 
She makes me think of a green, slimey viper who is peeling. 

I wish for her: a longer dress


7.  THE DEIDAD (goddess) OF POP

We all know you only are famous because of your bottoms. There is no need to stress that with these pants. Show us a bodycon shiny dress next time (as we all know you like those the most, even if you are getting WAY to old for them)

I wish for her: keep on ruling our universe (in her mind)
and a man to help her look after her children (I can't believe she is EVER at home with them, she is too busy ruling our universe)


8. THE HAS-BEEN

Oh no, darling. Maybe if you were 10 years younger and the same amount skinnier. And always remember that red blush doesn't help you look younger. 

I wish for her: that she realises her days as a movie star and posing on red carpets in these kind of dresses are over



9. THE WHERE WERE YOU

She didn't want any attention in 2011 I guess. That would maybe explain why she is dressed as a mop.
And did she earn so little money this year that she even can't afford to buy some new pants if her old ones got too big? 

I wish for her: a stylist. And an awesome movie where she can blow our minds


10. THE WHERE WERE YOU NOT

We all know she only got famous for her bottoms (doesn't this sound familiar, Jennifer?). 
No need to stress them. Certainly not in this hidous khaki jumpsuit. Show us a bodycon shiny dress next time (as we all know you like those the most, and it are your last years you can wear them)

(But seriously how big is it? )

I wish for her: a sabbatical. To find a real husband and have 8 children and make them all very famous and get 10%. 


11. THE ONE WHO SAVES THE IMAGE OF THE FAMILY

(Because you can say what you want but her son is so cute he makes us forget about her sister)

But whoaaaaa what are you wearing here? Naugthy secretary meets Pierrot the clown? 

Brrrrrrr. This will give you nightmares. 

I wish for her: (here we go again:) a healthy baby. And PLEASE DO NOT START YOUR OWN REALITY SHOW



 12. THE YOU MAKE GOOD MUSIC BUT PLEASE LOOK IN THE MIRROR

No dear. Not even Prada shoes can talk you out of this one. 

I wish for her: a new awesome album. And the best stylist there is to find (Rachel?) 


13. THE WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NEXT

my guess is her days are over. 
Some forgotten actresses make it in fashion, but with this dress she burnt those bridges foregood. 

I wish for her: a scholarship at a great university (oh no wait she probably has money enough - thank you Gossip Girl). 


14. THE ENOUGH WITH THE BOTOX ALREADY

I really geniunly hate this dress. It makes her so rectangular. Please wear something fabulous in 2012 and don't let us forget you're a great actress when you actually are able to make facial expressions. 

I wish for her: rehab for her botox addiction







3 comments:

  1. LOL really enjoyed this read - it all reigns so true!

    Tasia
    http://rufflesandsequins.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I seriously missed your posts like this, darling girl! Love love love it.
    Hope you had a wonderful christmas and wishing you all the very best in everything for 2012 (and beyond). xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. great post!!!i agree with everything!!so funny!

    ReplyDelete

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